cowboy blah

[jaebility]

The gunfire and the screams outside are a wild symphony, and Ben's boots climbing the ladder rungs tap out the beat for Dan to follow. Going to die going to going to going going sings Dan's heart, but he swallows hard to shove it back into his chest and ignores the warning. Ben twists around and looks down at him, and Dan slings the gun unto his shoulder and away from Ben (outlaw, thief, murderer, savior) and grips the wood bars in sweaty, sandy hands to climb up after and into the light.

===

The ladder will take them unto the roof - faster, safer on top of it all, farther away from desperate Charlie and his mad gang (Charlie's gang, not his anymore - separate like fire and water and sky above; Ben's sick of playing their father) - and the first rung is worn smooth, silk under Ben's bloody hands. A ladder - their ladder - set up on the earth, and the top of it reaches to heaven. Almost over. He turns and Dan's stands gasping behind him, and before his scrambled brain untangles itself, he reaches, those bloody fingers curling around Dan's damp neck, throat, to kiss him. The cuffs clink and ring and swing, and Dan doesn't resist him anymore, will follow him anywhere now, even though its only been a few heartbeats since Ben was on top of him, crushing his life out. Dan looses his grip and gun slides and clatters against the ladder's faded legs, his hands claw into Ben's arms to hold on, because the last minute is approaching like a steam engine and he needs to hang onto to something. He's being tugged upward, up, up, up higher than the rooftops, a puppet on a string. Ben moves away and his grin is crooked and his lips are red, and then he leads the way into the blinding sunlight.

Comments

[b-borealis.livejournal.com]

i feel like such a lamer because im just going through and reading all your stuff and commenting a bit
well, i think this one deserves a comment because it is really good and i would have been praising you earlier but i only just got to see the movie, though ive been wanting to since it came out
anywho, let me say i love how you write them, and in general i just really like your writing style
and i like the one liner kansas one in your later post

so umm..basically, good job!

[verdictlesslife.livejournal.com]

It makes me so, so happy that you're reading and liking my stuff, so definitely keep at it! XD I write for myself and don't get a lot of feedback, so when people comment, I get a ridiculously huge grin on my face. :D

[baggyeyes]

I think I like this longer one better than the shorter version I've seen elsewhere. It still has a breathless quality to it. But for me, there's more urgency.

Does that make sense? Or do I sound weird?

If I do, pretend I'm the old lady with the cats from the Simpsons.

[verdictlesslife.livejournal.com]

I couldn't decide if I wanted to write as Dan or as Ben since I love them both so much, but in the end I though that "set up on the earth, and the top of it reaches to heaven" was too good of a Biblical quote to exclude, so I finished the Ben POV version. I do like Dan's POV, though and you're definitely right - It's more immediate. You make sense! You aren't weird! XD