i refuse to spell-check this
Sep. 2nd, 2006 11:40 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jaebilityTrying to get a hang of writing 1st-person Rikku.
We had killed Seymour (again; that fucker loved punishment, apparently) and we had saved Yuna and we had official been deemed traitors - all in all a successful day, by anyone's standards. Somehow we limped all the way to Macalania Woods in one piece, tired and smelly and filthy and aching, but together, with all our limbs in tact.
I was preparing to sleep forever when Yuna go the bright idea into her pretty little head that she needed to go to the Moonflow. I couldn't really blame her, even though she needed a good night's sleep more than the rest of us; but then Tidus got the bright idea in his pretty little head that he needed to go to the Moonflow - y'know, cuz, well, it was a nice night and he fancied a stroll and all...
Yeah, like the rest of us hadn't already figured it out that he had it bad for Yunie. Bitch, please.
And of course Kilmahri had to tag along, too, because Yunie needs to have an entourage around whenever she tries to have a minute of aloneness and peacefulness. And that left me, Big Red, and the other two lovebirds.
It's not like I was feeling particularly chatty - I mean I had just partook in slicing the pie that is treason and murder, but hell, sometimes I had Very Deep Thoughts that I liked to share with my traveling companions (Hey, imagine if a shoopuf crapped on you or I bet Auron wears boxers and Wakka wears whitey-tighties or The Al Bhed don't need Yevon because we put all our faith into ourselves). And sometimes, like right after discovering that the dead walk the planet and that your cousin's betroathed wants to destroy everything ever, sometimes even a little scrappy piece of work like me needs to be with people. Be with people and re-learn that life isn't all death and sadness and sacrifice and blood that spills as easily as milk.
So I sat moodily and picked at scabs and waited.
A million years trickled by, and then finally I heard the soft rustle of cloth. I pried open one of my eyes and watched as Big Red slowly put himself into motion. Auron stood, and I could tell that it hurt by the way that he leaned on his sword, leaned on it like a crutch. He rolled his shoulders and sighed and then started down the path that Yunie, and Kilmahri, and Tidus had all wandered. It was peticular that he'd want in on the action, considering what an anti-social lump of a dude he was and how badly everything must have hurt, and I watched his crimson coat until it got lost in the blue shadows of the forest, telling myself how much I totally didn't care where he was going and what he was doing.
It was like a damn parade or something. And I wasn't invited.
I huffed and folded my arms across my chest (a mistake - I had banged up my ribs pretty good and the motion hurt like nobody's business). I had enough things to worry about - what with the redecoration of Home into a giant crator and Yuna's march toward death and Seymour's insanity and Tidus' bad hair. I couldn't get myself all worked up about Auron's muscle knots and bruised knees. But it was no use repeating to myself about my complete lack of concern. I did worry about him. No one else seemed to, so the task fell to me. And it wasn't like anyone was shedding any tears for me, either, the Al Bhed Wonder Girl of Bloody Knuckles and Awesome.
If Yunie has Tidus and Wakka has Lulu and Kilhmari is a different species so he couldn't reproduce with any of us even if he wanted to (which I highly doubt; I bet he dreams about barbarquing as all), then what does that leave Mr Personality and yours truly?
It leaves us with jack shit, that's what.
Sometimes I get myself all frantic about stuff and people and if Pops remembered to turn off the stove. But that's because someone needs to, and it's not fair to leave it all to the ever-suffering Yunie, or the tragic-past Tidus, or the angsty Lulu, or even the walking inferiority-complex that is Wakka. Sometimes you just gotta pull yourself up by the bootstraps and get your hands dirty. Sometimes you jsut gotta roll up your sleeves and ignore that funky smell. Sometimes you gotta give and not think about what you're gonna get.
I thought these thoughts and sat and picked another scab and tried not to listen in on Lulu and Wakka's conversation. My eyes kept drifting over to them, just because there was nothing else to look at other than tree bark, and that shit gets boring after a while. Me and Wakka both kept getting our eyeballs pulled into the gaping chasm that is Lulu's cleavage. But that got old fast and when I got sick of ogling her boobs of doom, I stood up, ignored the creaks and cracks from my joints, and trotted down that same damn path as everyone else.
Let is not be said that Rikku skips out on a parade. Or that she's afraid of a little dirt.
---
---
It wasn't that I didn't like the world's most famous and least talkative guardian, but rather that I always got the feeling that he spent his free time imagining creative ways of killing me off. And that's a huge hyperbole, naturally, but the image works.
Alas, Rikku, the Al Bhed Wonder Girl, was probably not on the top of Auron's favorite people list. He had let me into the group, though, without even one nasty comment about my swirling eyes. He probably regreted that day with the yearning of a thousand suns, though. I tried not to bug him, really!, but he had the most interesting things to talk about, when you finally convinced him to say more than "Hn" and "No" and "Don't even think about it." Most of the time he told his very interesting things to Tidus (which was a complete waste because Tidus didn't give two hoots about his dad and the crazy shit that his paternal parent got himself into), but I liked to here about it and good ol' uncle Braska and the drunken Jecht and the younger, but still grouchy, Auron. And sometimes he'd point out something - like a tower or a memorial or a grave - and mention real casual like about how he knew who built it, or who it was for, or who was buried there. But then if you got up the guts to ask him to clarify something, he's pull his arms into his jacket and grumble something impolite and clam up and ignore you for the rest of the day. And least that's what usually happened to me.
I don't think he actively disliked me, because I'm just too damn cute for that. But he didn't seem particularly fond of me, either (which was a shame because it was my humble opinion that he was a pretty cool cat). Rather, it was as if he didn't even want to consider my existence. I didn't fit into his plan, or something. He needed Yuna, because he was her guardian, he needed Tidus, because he was his friend's son, and maybe he needed Lulu, because she didn't freak out in bad situations and she could blow shit up with magic. I guess Kilmahri was a good party member, too, since Auron had entrusted Yuna to him and all. But that left poor, little me out in the cold. And Wakka, too, actually. Yeah, Auron pretty much ignored Wakka, too.
But at least Wakka had helped to take care of Yunie. I had nothing going for me, unless you counted the times I tried to kidnap - I mean rescue her. At best, I was an extra wheel. At worst... Well, let's not go there. His damn mixed signals made it so hard to understand him. Like the Thunder Plains incident. Had he stopped at the inn because I bugged him into submittence and he was merely protecting his ears from my never-ending pleas or had he taken pity on me and was trying to make me feel better? When he let me join the team, was he doing it because he thought I had a useful talent or was he completely indifferent to his travelling companions?
I didn't necessarily want the old bugger to get down on one knee and propose to me (well... actually...), I just wanted him to let me know him, know him as well as I knew everyone else. But Big Red was a tough nut to crack, even for my oh-so-talented fingers.
I found Kilmahri on the road and managed to scoot by him before he shooed me away and pushed me back to camp. Yunie and Tidus were having a moment together, that much I knew, and Kilmahri wanted to let Yunie enjoy one of the few pleasures she'd ever be able to have in this life, and yadda yadda yadda. But what about my needs? I wanted to make sure that Tidus didn't ruin the whole thing by pulling out one of his glorious pick up lines (So... you come here often? Are you tired? Because you've been running about my mind all night. It's it hot in here or is it just you? If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. And, my personal favorite: I've got a total woody right now.) or spend the whole time talking about blitzball or drown or something.
And I wanted to see if Auron, Legendary Stalker, was hanging around. And if he'd help me record the whole debacle on a sphere so we could watch and re-watch Tidus' wooing of the fair Yunie whenever our little hearts desired it. And if he'd trade back rubs (my oh-so-talented fingers give oh-so-awesome massages).
It wasn't too hard to locate him; his jacket wasn't quite as pristine as it was when I first met him, but it was still mostly red. And mostly red is red enough to stand out in Macalania.
He seemed pretty content with his lot in life. He was sitting on a tree root, his sword leaning against the silvery trunk. He had tucked his arms away into his jacket again and his head was nodded forward. He looked asleep, but I knew hims well enough to know that he wasn't - he had probably heard me come up and had already formulated a totally awesome and violent plan of attack. Hopefully he'd spare me once I found out I was not indeed some crazy fiend, but, just in case he didn't feel like being gracious, I climbed the tree, hopping onto a branch above him, before attempting to start a conversation.
It hurt like a bitch, getting onto that branch, but I kept my mouth glued shut. When the waves of totally, gut-wrenchingly terrible pain passed, I launched into the first phase of Getting Auron to Have Some Sort of Feeling Toward Me (Preferably a Good Feeling). "Hi there."
"Rikku."
And then we lapsed into silence. We watched Tidus put his moves on Yuna - at least he was having luck getting somewhere. Inspired by Tidus' success, I revived the Getting Auron to Have Some Sort of Yadda, Yadda, Yadda. "So, I bet your pretty happy about this? Sir Auron, Legendary Matchmaker."
Auron shifted, rolling his shoulders again. "Hn." He said, and I could tell that GAtHSSoFTM(PaGF) was going to be an arduous journey.
"They're really cute together," I said as Tidus pushed Yuna's wet hair from her face. "I'm glad that they lov-" I swallowed hard, the word sticking in my throat. "That they like each other. Cuz she needs someone who's not an undead evil sorceror, y'know? And Tidus' a goon and all, but he's a good goon."
"Hn."
"And I'm not jealous, so don't worry about it." And I wasn't jealous that Yuna had bagged a hottie, because even though Tidus had his cute moments, he was too much like a brother for me to have indecent thoughts about him. If he ever tried to kiss me, I'd laugh myself into a coma. Though, I was a bit envious of his scoring ability.
"I wasn't."
Two whole words! Could I be any prouder? "So why are we spying on them, anyway?"
"I'm guarding," he said and I wiggled with joy (ouch, ouch) - another two words!
"Sure, I buy that. Not."
Auron was silent and I deflated. Back to square one, apprently. I sighed and abandoned all hope of improving my situation with Big Red. I dragged my eyes away from him and back to the hook-up scene.
We had killed Seymour (again; that fucker loved punishment, apparently) and we had saved Yuna and we had official been deemed traitors - all in all a successful day, by anyone's standards. Somehow we limped all the way to Macalania Woods in one piece, tired and smelly and filthy and aching, but together, with all our limbs in tact.
I was preparing to sleep forever when Yuna go the bright idea into her pretty little head that she needed to go to the Moonflow. I couldn't really blame her, even though she needed a good night's sleep more than the rest of us; but then Tidus got the bright idea in his pretty little head that he needed to go to the Moonflow - y'know, cuz, well, it was a nice night and he fancied a stroll and all...
Yeah, like the rest of us hadn't already figured it out that he had it bad for Yunie. Bitch, please.
And of course Kilmahri had to tag along, too, because Yunie needs to have an entourage around whenever she tries to have a minute of aloneness and peacefulness. And that left me, Big Red, and the other two lovebirds.
It's not like I was feeling particularly chatty - I mean I had just partook in slicing the pie that is treason and murder, but hell, sometimes I had Very Deep Thoughts that I liked to share with my traveling companions (Hey, imagine if a shoopuf crapped on you or I bet Auron wears boxers and Wakka wears whitey-tighties or The Al Bhed don't need Yevon because we put all our faith into ourselves). And sometimes, like right after discovering that the dead walk the planet and that your cousin's betroathed wants to destroy everything ever, sometimes even a little scrappy piece of work like me needs to be with people. Be with people and re-learn that life isn't all death and sadness and sacrifice and blood that spills as easily as milk.
So I sat moodily and picked at scabs and waited.
A million years trickled by, and then finally I heard the soft rustle of cloth. I pried open one of my eyes and watched as Big Red slowly put himself into motion. Auron stood, and I could tell that it hurt by the way that he leaned on his sword, leaned on it like a crutch. He rolled his shoulders and sighed and then started down the path that Yunie, and Kilmahri, and Tidus had all wandered. It was peticular that he'd want in on the action, considering what an anti-social lump of a dude he was and how badly everything must have hurt, and I watched his crimson coat until it got lost in the blue shadows of the forest, telling myself how much I totally didn't care where he was going and what he was doing.
It was like a damn parade or something. And I wasn't invited.
I huffed and folded my arms across my chest (a mistake - I had banged up my ribs pretty good and the motion hurt like nobody's business). I had enough things to worry about - what with the redecoration of Home into a giant crator and Yuna's march toward death and Seymour's insanity and Tidus' bad hair. I couldn't get myself all worked up about Auron's muscle knots and bruised knees. But it was no use repeating to myself about my complete lack of concern. I did worry about him. No one else seemed to, so the task fell to me. And it wasn't like anyone was shedding any tears for me, either, the Al Bhed Wonder Girl of Bloody Knuckles and Awesome.
If Yunie has Tidus and Wakka has Lulu and Kilhmari is a different species so he couldn't reproduce with any of us even if he wanted to (which I highly doubt; I bet he dreams about barbarquing as all), then what does that leave Mr Personality and yours truly?
It leaves us with jack shit, that's what.
Sometimes I get myself all frantic about stuff and people and if Pops remembered to turn off the stove. But that's because someone needs to, and it's not fair to leave it all to the ever-suffering Yunie, or the tragic-past Tidus, or the angsty Lulu, or even the walking inferiority-complex that is Wakka. Sometimes you just gotta pull yourself up by the bootstraps and get your hands dirty. Sometimes you jsut gotta roll up your sleeves and ignore that funky smell. Sometimes you gotta give and not think about what you're gonna get.
I thought these thoughts and sat and picked another scab and tried not to listen in on Lulu and Wakka's conversation. My eyes kept drifting over to them, just because there was nothing else to look at other than tree bark, and that shit gets boring after a while. Me and Wakka both kept getting our eyeballs pulled into the gaping chasm that is Lulu's cleavage. But that got old fast and when I got sick of ogling her boobs of doom, I stood up, ignored the creaks and cracks from my joints, and trotted down that same damn path as everyone else.
Let is not be said that Rikku skips out on a parade. Or that she's afraid of a little dirt.
---
---
It wasn't that I didn't like the world's most famous and least talkative guardian, but rather that I always got the feeling that he spent his free time imagining creative ways of killing me off. And that's a huge hyperbole, naturally, but the image works.
Alas, Rikku, the Al Bhed Wonder Girl, was probably not on the top of Auron's favorite people list. He had let me into the group, though, without even one nasty comment about my swirling eyes. He probably regreted that day with the yearning of a thousand suns, though. I tried not to bug him, really!, but he had the most interesting things to talk about, when you finally convinced him to say more than "Hn" and "No" and "Don't even think about it." Most of the time he told his very interesting things to Tidus (which was a complete waste because Tidus didn't give two hoots about his dad and the crazy shit that his paternal parent got himself into), but I liked to here about it and good ol' uncle Braska and the drunken Jecht and the younger, but still grouchy, Auron. And sometimes he'd point out something - like a tower or a memorial or a grave - and mention real casual like about how he knew who built it, or who it was for, or who was buried there. But then if you got up the guts to ask him to clarify something, he's pull his arms into his jacket and grumble something impolite and clam up and ignore you for the rest of the day. And least that's what usually happened to me.
I don't think he actively disliked me, because I'm just too damn cute for that. But he didn't seem particularly fond of me, either (which was a shame because it was my humble opinion that he was a pretty cool cat). Rather, it was as if he didn't even want to consider my existence. I didn't fit into his plan, or something. He needed Yuna, because he was her guardian, he needed Tidus, because he was his friend's son, and maybe he needed Lulu, because she didn't freak out in bad situations and she could blow shit up with magic. I guess Kilmahri was a good party member, too, since Auron had entrusted Yuna to him and all. But that left poor, little me out in the cold. And Wakka, too, actually. Yeah, Auron pretty much ignored Wakka, too.
But at least Wakka had helped to take care of Yunie. I had nothing going for me, unless you counted the times I tried to kidnap - I mean rescue her. At best, I was an extra wheel. At worst... Well, let's not go there. His damn mixed signals made it so hard to understand him. Like the Thunder Plains incident. Had he stopped at the inn because I bugged him into submittence and he was merely protecting his ears from my never-ending pleas or had he taken pity on me and was trying to make me feel better? When he let me join the team, was he doing it because he thought I had a useful talent or was he completely indifferent to his travelling companions?
I didn't necessarily want the old bugger to get down on one knee and propose to me (well... actually...), I just wanted him to let me know him, know him as well as I knew everyone else. But Big Red was a tough nut to crack, even for my oh-so-talented fingers.
I found Kilmahri on the road and managed to scoot by him before he shooed me away and pushed me back to camp. Yunie and Tidus were having a moment together, that much I knew, and Kilmahri wanted to let Yunie enjoy one of the few pleasures she'd ever be able to have in this life, and yadda yadda yadda. But what about my needs? I wanted to make sure that Tidus didn't ruin the whole thing by pulling out one of his glorious pick up lines (So... you come here often? Are you tired? Because you've been running about my mind all night. It's it hot in here or is it just you? If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. And, my personal favorite: I've got a total woody right now.) or spend the whole time talking about blitzball or drown or something.
And I wanted to see if Auron, Legendary Stalker, was hanging around. And if he'd help me record the whole debacle on a sphere so we could watch and re-watch Tidus' wooing of the fair Yunie whenever our little hearts desired it. And if he'd trade back rubs (my oh-so-talented fingers give oh-so-awesome massages).
It wasn't too hard to locate him; his jacket wasn't quite as pristine as it was when I first met him, but it was still mostly red. And mostly red is red enough to stand out in Macalania.
He seemed pretty content with his lot in life. He was sitting on a tree root, his sword leaning against the silvery trunk. He had tucked his arms away into his jacket again and his head was nodded forward. He looked asleep, but I knew hims well enough to know that he wasn't - he had probably heard me come up and had already formulated a totally awesome and violent plan of attack. Hopefully he'd spare me once I found out I was not indeed some crazy fiend, but, just in case he didn't feel like being gracious, I climbed the tree, hopping onto a branch above him, before attempting to start a conversation.
It hurt like a bitch, getting onto that branch, but I kept my mouth glued shut. When the waves of totally, gut-wrenchingly terrible pain passed, I launched into the first phase of Getting Auron to Have Some Sort of Feeling Toward Me (Preferably a Good Feeling). "Hi there."
"Rikku."
And then we lapsed into silence. We watched Tidus put his moves on Yuna - at least he was having luck getting somewhere. Inspired by Tidus' success, I revived the Getting Auron to Have Some Sort of Yadda, Yadda, Yadda. "So, I bet your pretty happy about this? Sir Auron, Legendary Matchmaker."
Auron shifted, rolling his shoulders again. "Hn." He said, and I could tell that GAtHSSoFTM(PaGF) was going to be an arduous journey.
"They're really cute together," I said as Tidus pushed Yuna's wet hair from her face. "I'm glad that they lov-" I swallowed hard, the word sticking in my throat. "That they like each other. Cuz she needs someone who's not an undead evil sorceror, y'know? And Tidus' a goon and all, but he's a good goon."
"Hn."
"And I'm not jealous, so don't worry about it." And I wasn't jealous that Yuna had bagged a hottie, because even though Tidus had his cute moments, he was too much like a brother for me to have indecent thoughts about him. If he ever tried to kiss me, I'd laugh myself into a coma. Though, I was a bit envious of his scoring ability.
"I wasn't."
Two whole words! Could I be any prouder? "So why are we spying on them, anyway?"
"I'm guarding," he said and I wiggled with joy (ouch, ouch) - another two words!
"Sure, I buy that. Not."
Auron was silent and I deflated. Back to square one, apprently. I sighed and abandoned all hope of improving my situation with Big Red. I dragged my eyes away from him and back to the hook-up scene.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-03 05:33 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-17 01:55 pm (UTC)And yeah, I think Auron's probably the best match-maker in history. He's a big softie, really. <3
Hey, would it be okay if I friended you on my regular journal? I'm much better at checking that one than I am this one. :)
(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-18 11:15 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-20 10:52 am (UTC)