jaebility: (pw // lawyercest kissy)
[personal profile] jaebility
When I went to the library on Saturday, I had no idea what was ins tore for me. I picked up some mysteries, a couple of Discworld paperbacks, and then wandered into the sci fi/fantasy section to look for any new Patricia McKillip novels. Pickings were slim, so when I passed a series of book with Dragon in the titles, I decided to grab them. I love me some cheesy fantasy novels and covers with dragons on them are a sure buy (or sure borrow, in this case).

On Sunday morning, I woke up before The Boy and so decided to read a bit. I pulled Touched by Venom from my bag o' books and started to read.

OH MY GOD.

The first paragraph was terrible. Author Cross sprinkles Call a Rabbit a Smeerps like salt - there's enough in there to kill a colony of slugs. I flipped through the first few pages to see if it got better.

And that was then I discovered it. This was no ordinary crappy fantasy novel. Oh no. This was something much worse.

This was the VENOM COCK.

AHAHAHA I can't believe I picked up this book! What're the odds? I wonder if I subconciously remembered reading about it on Fandom Wank and that prompted me to borrow it. But my god is it terrible - Beyond terrible. Everything about it is brain-bleachingly bad. I need to exorcise my book bag. When Pete, who knows all about the history of revering the venom cock, woke up, I read him choice selections. We laughed, we cried, I threw it back into the depths of my bag.

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November 2016

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