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writing in first person
Jul. 1st, 2010 02:14 pmAfter weeks months years of neglect, yesterday I started re-writing my epic(ally bad) fanfic "Fine Art." I never stopped thinking about it, even as I went through high school and college, and I do intend to finish it. At some point. Hopefully. I'll keep telling myself that.
So anyway I re-read chapters 4 and 5, which have been moldering in Google documents. They're ok, I guess. But there's too much dialog, not enough action. And Daisuke should be all about movement and energy. And there's my big problem - Since my read of Daisuke is he's more about impulses than ponderings, I can't have too many scenes of navel-gazing. And then I start to worry that I'm making him too observant. I began re-writing the chapter where he talks to Willis... And I think it's a bit better. Shorter, definitely. I need to have Willis as some sort of presence - he's sort of the Greek chorus here - and since he's one the other side of the planet, he can only communicate through phone calls.
But if the pace gets too fast, I think Daisuke's maturation doesn't get explored enough. He can't change completely, not that quickly.
So I'm stumped.
Daisuke needs to a)join the art club, b)join the soccer club, c)get to Ken's house. Those are his physical movements; he's also got to a)begin to see himself as more than just a member of the Chosen Children, b)see the rest of the gang as more than just the Chosen Children, c)develop enough emotionally that he can begin sexual maturation, d)fall out of infatuation with Hikari and in love with Ken, e)probably a crapload of other things.
I think I just don't have enough practice with first-person POV. With third-person perspective, I can write about things that Daisuke wouldn't notice, but since he's narrating, I'm limited in showing only the things that he is interested in or he's willing to pay attention to.
And I'm bad at action. I really am. Oh god, so terrible. Bad at description, too. But I love writing dialog.
So anyway I re-read chapters 4 and 5, which have been moldering in Google documents. They're ok, I guess. But there's too much dialog, not enough action. And Daisuke should be all about movement and energy. And there's my big problem - Since my read of Daisuke is he's more about impulses than ponderings, I can't have too many scenes of navel-gazing. And then I start to worry that I'm making him too observant. I began re-writing the chapter where he talks to Willis... And I think it's a bit better. Shorter, definitely. I need to have Willis as some sort of presence - he's sort of the Greek chorus here - and since he's one the other side of the planet, he can only communicate through phone calls.
But if the pace gets too fast, I think Daisuke's maturation doesn't get explored enough. He can't change completely, not that quickly.
So I'm stumped.
Daisuke needs to a)join the art club, b)join the soccer club, c)get to Ken's house. Those are his physical movements; he's also got to a)begin to see himself as more than just a member of the Chosen Children, b)see the rest of the gang as more than just the Chosen Children, c)develop enough emotionally that he can begin sexual maturation, d)fall out of infatuation with Hikari and in love with Ken, e)probably a crapload of other things.
I think I just don't have enough practice with first-person POV. With third-person perspective, I can write about things that Daisuke wouldn't notice, but since he's narrating, I'm limited in showing only the things that he is interested in or he's willing to pay attention to.
And I'm bad at action. I really am. Oh god, so terrible. Bad at description, too. But I love writing dialog.
