(no subject)

"See, this lines means that you're going to live for a really long time. And that's a good thing. You'll be around forever, annoying the hell out of Yunie. And this one says that you'll have ear hair so long that you'll have to braid it and wrap it around your head. But that's ok, since this line says you'll be bald by the time you're thirty. So you can use your ear hair to cover up your naked scalp. Hey, stop squirming! You want me to read your palm or not?"

Tidus sighed and obligingly uncurled his fingers. "This whole thins a load of bull," he grumbled down at Rikku. "A hundred gil says you're just making this up as you go along."

"Would I lie to you?" Rikku asked, managing to keep her face free of any hint of duplicity. Before Tidus could answer, she ducked her head down again and poked at one of Tidus' calluses and nodded seriously as she pondered the meaning of the hardened skin. "Just because you can't understand the dark and mysterious and awesome arts of the Al Bhed doesn't mean that they don't exist. Besides, you only gave me ten gil and a lame-o power sphere. If you wanted my super-duper-extreme fortune, you have to cough up at least another fifty gil and maybe even toss in that ability sphere you got yesterday. Don't you want to know the secrets that destiny have in store for you?"

"So far you've told me that I may or may not fall off a cliff, that I'm going to meet a tall, dark, and handsome stranger who may be Auron, and if it is, then he's not a stranger, that I'm going to have a long life of pissing off Yuna, and I'll have ear hair."

"And you'll be bald," Rikku reminded him helpfully.

"Wow, thanks ever so much," Tidus deadpanned. "How did I ever survive this long without your helpful insights?"

"Pure, dumb luck!" She said with a grin. "

(no subject)

One-liners, a la buttonsandblows.

FFX
It takes forever, but Rikku finally convinces Yuna and Paine to accompany her to the tattoo artist that Brother recommended - they hold hands and grin through the pain and pray that there aren't any spelling mistakes.

Auron stands on the mountain summit, trailing behind the rest of the party to pause and grimace and grasp his chest to prevent the pyre flies that threaten spill free; he clenches and curses and prays until he regains control and maintains his hold on his life.

FFVII/FFX
They spend each night making long lists (funny words for "penis," red: awesome or awesomely awesome?, best pick-up lines to use on old dead guys), each day tring to out-steal the other, each meal combining forces to drive Cid off the deep end; finding a doppelganger from another world is the best thing ever, and they pinky swear that they'll stay sort-of-sisters forever.

Yuffie and Rikku are gunpowder and a match, and it's all that Cid can do to keep them from blowing up the town; if this is his punishment for his youthful indisgressions, he'd like to actually be dead first, but with his luck, he's going to live another sixty years as their babysitter (unless they kill him first [please let them kill him first!]).