editing an old story
Jul. 16th, 2006 03:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jaebilityThe Thunder Plains were absolute hell for Rikku. She had managed to keep her fear to herself during their approach (her father had taught her well! Never show your weakness!) but as soon as the toes on her right foot touched the grey plains, her control shattered (so much for her father’s lesssons). For the entire first day of travel she had tried endlessly to convince the party to turn back and try another way by means of begging, yelling, clinging, and, as a last desperate attempt, throwing bombs. Nothing worked, and all she got for her troubles were a series of frowns and a whack on the head, courtesy of the ever-so-helpful Tidus.
With each bolt of lightening she trembled, with each crash of thunder she cried. Rikku grew positively hysterical and not even the ever stoic Kimahri could hold his tongue. "Rikku need to be quiet. She will gather the attention of enemies." His observation was duly noted by his companions and Tidus tried his best to stuff a handkerchief into her mouth to shut her up.
"Bastards," she mumbled through chattering teeth. Why weren’t they running amuck in terror like her? They were strolling along like it was a walk in the park, all smiles and sunshine. It wasn’t her fault that they were incurably insane! "Um, hello? Do you guys want to be fried little splotches of guts on the ground? 'Cause that's what happens when you get struck by lightening. And yeah, that's generally not a good thing. Are you guys listening to me?"
The journey took hours; it seemed like ever five steps a monster would challenge them and force them into a battle that took practically a lifetime. At long last they reached an inn and after squeals of hope and fear from the blond, Auron agreed to a night under its roof. Only a night, he warned, not without anger and impatience in his voice, and not only moment longer.
---
"Eeeeah!" Rikku bolted up in her bed as another roll of thunder shook the inn. Her heart pounded like... well... Thunder in her chest and it took a moment for her to conquer the dread that had numbed her body senseless. In the bed next to her Yuna mumbled in her sleep and rolled over. Rikku flushed and bit her lip, feeling guilty that she had caused her cousin so many problems during her quest. Yuna gave so much and received so little, especially from her, Rikku thought sheepishly. She slipped out of bed determined to sleep elsewhere so that she would not wake the exhausted Summoner. As she left the room she glanced at the slumbering Kimahri who lay at the foot of Yuna’s bed, and, feeling a twinge of guilt for him too, pulled the blanket off her bed, covering the lionman with its warmth. His eyes opened, signaling that he had woken up even though his mistress had not, but closed after Rikku had pressed a finger to her lips and shushed any movement he may have planned to make.
As soon as Rikku stepped into the hallway she regretted her choice. Lightening flashed through the windows and thunder screamed in the sky and Rikku echoed it with her own moan of fright. She began to shiver out of fear and coldness and fought down the urge to cry. Lower lip trembling she headed towards Lulu's room - somehow Lulu’s displeasure at being awakened seemed favorable to Yuna’s sweet understanding. Rikku preferred a straight out argument to Yuna’s guilt-inducing sighs. Her bare feet padded on the cold wooden floor and she rubbed her hands over her arms to try to inspire warmth. "Cold. Lonely." She said out loud to herself, her voice quiet not to wake her friends but loud enough to block out far-off thunder.
Lightening flicked light into the hallway as Rikku pushed the door open that lead to Lulu's room. "Just me," she whispered to Lulu as she climbed in bed. "Couldn't sleep. I’m sorry to disturb you but I didn’t want to keep up Yunie. You know how she is. She'll make that sad face of hers and then I'll feel really bad and gouge my eyes or something." In the darkness she could only make out a general shape in the bed but she could tell that Lulu hadn't turned over yet. Relieved that she hadn't woken her up, Rikku snuggled into the bed's warmth, feeling completely better and for the first time since entering the Plains, safe. "'Night."
A particularly resounding thunder blast won a squeak from Rikku. She squeezed her eyes shut and pushed against her bedmate's back. It was then that she began to realize that something wasn't right about her situation; Lulu's back wasn't that hard was it? Or that large? Rikku sat up, confused and curious. "Damn, I didn't climb into bed with Tidus, did I? Tidus, move your big butt over, you're taking up the entire mattress. And you'd better not snore, 'cause if you do, you'd better believe that Yunie will hear all about it."
"Don't you ever shut up?"
Rikku’s blood froze. "Sir Auron?!"
With each bolt of lightening she trembled, with each crash of thunder she cried. Rikku grew positively hysterical and not even the ever stoic Kimahri could hold his tongue. "Rikku need to be quiet. She will gather the attention of enemies." His observation was duly noted by his companions and Tidus tried his best to stuff a handkerchief into her mouth to shut her up.
"Bastards," she mumbled through chattering teeth. Why weren’t they running amuck in terror like her? They were strolling along like it was a walk in the park, all smiles and sunshine. It wasn’t her fault that they were incurably insane! "Um, hello? Do you guys want to be fried little splotches of guts on the ground? 'Cause that's what happens when you get struck by lightening. And yeah, that's generally not a good thing. Are you guys listening to me?"
The journey took hours; it seemed like ever five steps a monster would challenge them and force them into a battle that took practically a lifetime. At long last they reached an inn and after squeals of hope and fear from the blond, Auron agreed to a night under its roof. Only a night, he warned, not without anger and impatience in his voice, and not only moment longer.
---
"Eeeeah!" Rikku bolted up in her bed as another roll of thunder shook the inn. Her heart pounded like... well... Thunder in her chest and it took a moment for her to conquer the dread that had numbed her body senseless. In the bed next to her Yuna mumbled in her sleep and rolled over. Rikku flushed and bit her lip, feeling guilty that she had caused her cousin so many problems during her quest. Yuna gave so much and received so little, especially from her, Rikku thought sheepishly. She slipped out of bed determined to sleep elsewhere so that she would not wake the exhausted Summoner. As she left the room she glanced at the slumbering Kimahri who lay at the foot of Yuna’s bed, and, feeling a twinge of guilt for him too, pulled the blanket off her bed, covering the lionman with its warmth. His eyes opened, signaling that he had woken up even though his mistress had not, but closed after Rikku had pressed a finger to her lips and shushed any movement he may have planned to make.
As soon as Rikku stepped into the hallway she regretted her choice. Lightening flashed through the windows and thunder screamed in the sky and Rikku echoed it with her own moan of fright. She began to shiver out of fear and coldness and fought down the urge to cry. Lower lip trembling she headed towards Lulu's room - somehow Lulu’s displeasure at being awakened seemed favorable to Yuna’s sweet understanding. Rikku preferred a straight out argument to Yuna’s guilt-inducing sighs. Her bare feet padded on the cold wooden floor and she rubbed her hands over her arms to try to inspire warmth. "Cold. Lonely." She said out loud to herself, her voice quiet not to wake her friends but loud enough to block out far-off thunder.
Lightening flicked light into the hallway as Rikku pushed the door open that lead to Lulu's room. "Just me," she whispered to Lulu as she climbed in bed. "Couldn't sleep. I’m sorry to disturb you but I didn’t want to keep up Yunie. You know how she is. She'll make that sad face of hers and then I'll feel really bad and gouge my eyes or something." In the darkness she could only make out a general shape in the bed but she could tell that Lulu hadn't turned over yet. Relieved that she hadn't woken her up, Rikku snuggled into the bed's warmth, feeling completely better and for the first time since entering the Plains, safe. "'Night."
A particularly resounding thunder blast won a squeak from Rikku. She squeezed her eyes shut and pushed against her bedmate's back. It was then that she began to realize that something wasn't right about her situation; Lulu's back wasn't that hard was it? Or that large? Rikku sat up, confused and curious. "Damn, I didn't climb into bed with Tidus, did I? Tidus, move your big butt over, you're taking up the entire mattress. And you'd better not snore, 'cause if you do, you'd better believe that Yunie will hear all about it."
"Don't you ever shut up?"
Rikku’s blood froze. "Sir Auron?!"
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(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-16 08:26 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-17 10:59 pm (UTC)It's actually on FF.Net, but the above version is a re-editing of it since my original story sucks like whoa. I'm hoping that I'll finish it and make it more in-character. Well, I can hope, anyway.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-10-28 07:26 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-10-29 12:23 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-10-30 02:39 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-11-03 12:56 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-11-05 04:40 pm (UTC)