jaebility: (nature // sunflowers)
Digging through what was left of Shinra's archives, she felt even more like a treasure hunter and a spy, only for herself again, and not the stupid Turks. Yuffie surfaced with armfuls of the weirdest, coolest stuff ever. Tseng wanted boring crap like maps and office receipts and personal reports from a hundred years ago back in the days of yore when everyone drove cars made of coconuts, but it wasn't like she was some gopher, so she put her headphones on and totally ignored him. Instead she pulled out these bizarre plastic records and big box of gray photographs where everyone was wearing hats and monocles, and a one-sided correspondence between some woman and the guy she was trying to convince to come back from his cabin in the woods on top of a mountain where he was building a submarine.

She brought the whole kit and caboodle to Tifa's Seventh Heaven and dumped it on the bar. "No materia," she told Tifa and Cloud before they could ask, "but today was only day one. I'm 'posed to be rummaging around all week. Which I actually might do because this stuff is awesome."

Tifa put down her glass and bent over the box. "And Tseng let you take all of this?"

"Hey," she said with an offended sniff, "I don't take orders from him. Just suggestions. Hey Denzel, check this shit out. This guy is riding a bike and he's totally naked."

"Yuffie." Cloud had a talent in making any word a threat. Even innocuous ones like "basket" or "toilet paper" or "dirty socks." But he bent over too, rifling through the papers and ephemera while his sort-of-adopted-son grinned at the photograph and then ran off with it to show Marlene. "What are these things?"

She gave him a shrug. "Stuff no one wanted, but no one wanted to get rid of, I guess. Beats the hell out of me. Hey, where do ya think I can get a monocle? Because they're sort of the greatest things ever. Oh and check these things out. They look like info-discs, right? But they're so huge. I'm thinking of using them as shurikens, whadda think."
jaebility: (ffvii // monochrome)
He's in the basement, stacks of papers and a computer screen to keep him company in the dark and dreary days. And nights, since he probably doesn't obey the laws of bedtimes. She crouches there int he shadows and watches him, the slink of his hair and the the glare of his eyes as he reads and writes and types out all of Shinra's secrets. Rufus' explicit instructions to spy on said traitor were ignored as soon as he said them, but Yuffie wants to know what Vincent's up to anyway: this moment of espionage is for her, fuck Rufus and Reno and all of the Turks and all of Shinra and maybe even all of Midgar. So she crouches and watches.

He hasn't changed: skin like parchment or snow or bleach-clean bedsheets. Eyelashes so long she could practically braid them. Yuffie's heart pounds like it always does, like it will always do no matter how many years go by. He barely moves as he works; he's an automaton or a statue or something, something that's eternal and unworldly.

Like a curse, she thinks to herself. Especially effective on ninjas.

There's a sound, not her of course, she's too awesome to let her secrets escape. But a sound's a sound and he turns, stands, draws a gun in a single, fluid motion. Art. Poetry.

Yuffie applauds. "Wow. A perfect 10. You haven't lost it, have you, Grandpa?"

If he's surprised she came, he doesn't show it. "I suppose Shinra sent you."

"Ooh, sorry. Gonna have to deduct those 10 points. Nope, I'm no one's lackey. Or gopher. Or butt monkey." She jumps down from her perch on the towering bookshelves and lands with nary a tap on the floor at Vincent's feet. She stands, holds the pose, then bows, but Vincent remain unimpressed. "All right, all right. Yeah, Rufus posted big Reward posters of you all around his new-and-improved-but-still-lame headquarters. And you look mighty fine in them, if you ask me. But this isn't a business trip. And on your behalf, I told him to go blow himself. He's probably still trying to figure out how that's even physically possible."

Vincent stares down from his ivory tower. "So what do you want here, Yuffie?"
jaebility: (tlu // two faces)
"How about you go fuck yourself?

Rufus made a steeple with his fingers and studied the architecture for a good minute as he considered my suggestion. "I don't think you realize opportunity we've been presented with."

"I don't think you realize that you're a tool. And I mean that in more than one way. Yeah, you're a total douche, but I'm also insinuating that you're being used be a higher power. See what I did there? That was a double entendre."

That got his attention. He cleared his throat and narrowed his eyes at Reno, who'd been bored into a coma and was ignoring our whole conversation. "Yuffie," he said, voice still mild and smile still sharp, "we're talking about convergence on a global scale. A ShinRa-Wutai partnership will revolutionize -"

I jammed my fingers in my ears. "I'm done with this conversation. I was done with it the first time you said 'synergy.' Reno, can you unplug him or something?"

When Rufus shut his mouth, I tentatively lowered my hands. He wasn't smiling anymore, but he didn't look particularly angry either. Those long fingers were folded loosely over his papers, shoulders in a relaxed slope, and his blue eyes thoughtful. "Very well. Then let's bring this meeting to an end."

"Gawd. Yes. Finally."

He slid a folder across the span of his massive desk to me. "The information's inside. I trust you can read well enough to follow the instructions."

I let that weak insult go. "Ok, gimpy. No partner this time, right? I told you I work better alone."

"Two people are required for this job."

"The only two things required for any job are my right fist and my left fist."

"Vincent Valentine."

"Oh."

"Yes."

"You don't say."

"I do indeed."

"Well now," I said as I tucked the folder into my bag. "Maybe that's not such a bad idea. Good job, Roofy! You came up with a decent plan for once!"

Rufus' smile came back, a flash of white between his pink lips. "I expect you to repay me for this favor."

"Yeah, sure, gimpy. I'll get to work on your rocket powered wheelchair tonight."
jaebility: (random // doooo it)
Title: This is what happens when you read comics instead of working
Fandom: FFVII/FFX
Rating: PG
Warnings: Nope
Author's note: For Three Weeks for Dreamwidth

The punch was too swift to avoid and his head snapped backward, the rest of his body following. She grabbed a fistful of shirt to keep him from falling over and punched him twice again, two quick shots that cracked his jaw and her knuckles.

She heard Jecht's slow whistle behind her, the heft of his massive sword, a chuckle low and warm the tempered her flames into smoldering embers. "'Less there's a market for teeth now, there ain't much else you can get outta him."

She released him and the kid sagged to the ground. "All right, I'm letting you off easy this time, sport. If I see you 'round here again," she pressed her foot into his stomach and leaned over, "I will collect those pretty teeth of yours."

Yuffie cackled maniacally until he crawled away. His gang, skulking nervously in the shadows grabbed their boss and ran off with him, staring back at her with open mouths like she'd grab his ankles and pull him back.

"You usually this crazy?" Jecht clamped one of his big hands over the top of her head, flattening her hair into her eyes.

"Stayed up reading comics all night! What'd you think of that last line? Pretty good, right?"

"Crazy."

"You know you're impressed. You set me up with that teeth thing anyway. Hey, I got his wallet. Pfff... Not even a hundred gil. Honestly, what kind of gang was he running? L-A-M-E."

Jecht grumbled a curse. "Looks like we're gonna have to barbecue the giant chicken."

"Hey, you leave Momo the Chocobo out of this." She finished rummaging through the wallet and tucked it into her pocket, in case she needed it later.

"Yeah? Or what?"

"You want a piece of me too, old man?"

"Nah. Too scrawny for dinner."

"Up yours, baldy!"

"Baldy?!"

A use for the wallet: throwing at Jecht.
jaebility: (ffvii // cheeky)
Title: A Toast
Fandom: Final Fantasy VII
Rating: PG
Warnings: Nope
Author's note: HURRRR I got into school DURRRR

Yuffie brought Shera and Cid a bottle of damn good sake from the darkest corner of the deepest basement of the greatest brewer in all of Wutai (which, she lied, meant that it was the best bottle of booze in the city, and not something someone had forgotten about; and, she lied by omission, there was only one brewery in all of Wutai; also, she couldn't tell damn good sake from piss-poor sake, so her accolades amounted to zip-zilch-zero).

But it smelled fine when she cracked it open. It was dark, close to midnight, when they finally sat at Cid and Shera's old kitchen table - They'd been busy with Turk crap and Shinra orders and all the sludge and grudge and grime of normal, non-world-saving life. But it smelled fine and when she poured little pools of it into their cups, it looked fine too.

"To Shera!" Yuffie said as she lifted her cup.

"To the Shera," Shera corrected her, pink already.

"I'll drink to both." Cid tossed it back without a grimace.

Shera coughed, turned pinker, and Yuffie gagged, fell on the floor, rolled around under the table, tied Cid's shoelaces together, then climbed back onto her chair to pour them a second round.

yuffs

Mar. 22nd, 2010 12:36 pm
jaebility: (ffvii // ninjas ftw)
Vincent's predictability was a deeply embedded trait, and one ripe for exploitation. Yuffie hung upside down from the rafters as she went through the equation: If she did X, then he would do Y. It was rather a simple method, therefore, of substituting specific actions for the variables.

(Some actions had to be avoided. Under no circumstances could X equal anything relating to Lucrezia, unless she wanted Y to equal Vincent sulking in the dark for the next three days.)
jaebility: (random // clone high)
Title: All Work and No Play
Characters/Pairings: Yuffie
Team: Avalanche
Rating: G
Word Count: 100
Series: FFVII: Original Game
Author's Notes: Part one!

All Work and No Play )

Title: Makes Yuffie a Dull Ninja
Characters/Pairings: Yuffie
Team: Avalanche
Rating: G
Word Count: 100
Series: FFVII: Original Game
Author's Notes: And part two!

Makes Yuffie a Dull Ninja )
jaebility: (avatar // dance)
I played a little Final Fantasy VII last night. I got Tifa's and Aeris' two level 2 limit breaks, and have Cloud's level 3 break. But Cloud's easy. Playing FFVII stirs up all sort of plot bunnnies, WHICH NEED TO SHUT UP because I need to focus on TTBtM and studying. But I want to right an epic about Yuffie working as a Turk, about Rufus exploring green energy sources, about Tifa becoming a lounge singer on the side. Eee! I love the Yuffie&Reno/Rufus friendship triangle. Man, the day needs more hours in it.

I've been incredibly busy. And now I have a new duty: Playing Rock Band: Beatles. Snap! Amazon said it might arrive tomorrow, but as of this morning, my package was in Brooklyn. So if all goes according to plan, I'll be rocking my socks off tonight.

jaebility: (ffvii // monochrome)
I studied after dinner for a bit, but the muscle knot in my shoulder hurt so bad that I had a hard time concentrating, so I gave up and played more Final Fantasy VII instead of doing math.

Just got Cid! His backstory and scenes with the rocket and Shera are damn interesting; so different than the rest of the cast's background. I mean, the theme's the same I guess (loss and sacrifice, and whatnot). Still to me, anyway, Cid seems like he comes from a completely different universe than everyone else.

Next stop is Wutai! I'm leveling up a bit first, getting some of the enemy skills I missed earlier in the game. I'm an obsessive leveler; I have a hard time choosing my team, so I end up using everyone. I just cycle through 'em, spending hours running into random encounters. The Aeris vs Tifa thing always messes with me: Do I want Cloud to go on the date with doomed Aeris or with Tifa, who's been harboring a crush on Cloud for years? Pete favors Aeris, and I think Cloud ended up with her the last time I played the game, but I'm still stuck. If I want to get Aeris' final limit break, I have to use her in battle more often, which will increase her love gauge. Gahhhhh. These are the things I worry about.

But yay! I have Cid!

EDIT
Cloud: Boohoo people I loved died
Sephiroth: Mommy issues
Tifa: Boohoo people I loved died
Barrett: Boohoo people I loved died
Aeris: Boohoo people I loved died + Mommy issues
Vincent: Boohoo people I loved died + kinda Mommy issues
Cid: BRB going to space in my giant phallic symbol OH SHIT SHERA why are you such a cockblock
jaebility: (zomg yuffie)
Title: Sick of the Sea
Fandom: Final Fantasy VII
Summary: Response for ffvii_100's challenge #17 - Illness
Rating: PG for Yuffie's language

Being on a boat wasn't part of Super Hero Ninja of Doom Yuffie Kisaragi McAwesomepants' plan. )
jaebility: (ffvii // monochrome)
Title: Sick of the Sea
Fandom: Final Fantasy VII
Character/Pairing: Yuffie
Summary: Response for [community profile] ffvii_100's challenge #17 - Illness
Rating: PG for Yuffie's language

Being on a boat wasn't part of Super Hero Ninja of Doom Yuffie Kisaragi McAwesomepants' plan. )
jaebility: (digimon // daiken tree)
When Princess Pretty Pants Cloud ditched them to party down in Junon, she was positive that the rest of his gang of losers would totally try to leave her behind. So she flipped them all off before they got the chance and trailed behind Tall, Blond, and Spikey as he skipped merrily through the city.

==

She couldn't believe how old the rest of the gang was. Old and city-polished, shiny like a Summon materia and just as cool. They totally tried to ditch her at Junon, but she knocked out a guard and stole her uniform and then sat grinning and flipping them off when they finally found their way up to Rufus McAsshole's lair.

"Everyone on the boat."

"Boat?" This was not part of her glorious plan. Yuffie took three hops backward and waved her hands. "No one said anything about any boats. I hate boats."
jaebility: (ffvii // monochrome)
Title: Tight Squeeze
Author: [personal profile] jaebility
Characters: Yuffie, Vincent
Summary: Coffin sex yay
Warnings: This was for porn_battle, so...
A/N: porn_battle for great justice!

Final Fantasy VII Vincent/Yuffie when the sun goes down )
jaebility: (zomg yuffie)
Title: Parchment
Fandom/Pairing/Prompt: Final Fantasy VII/YuffiexVincent/Loved
Rating: PG
Summary: Nudity + temporary tattoos = A good time had by all.
Disclaimer: I'm just playing in Square-Enix's sandbox.
Warnings: N/A
Beta: N/A
Author's Note: I wrote this for the ides_of_march challenge community over at IJ.

Parchment )
jaebility: (zomg yuffie)
"This could all be avoided if you agreed to marry me."

Over his shoulder, I saw Reno scowl - Poor bastard still wasn't getting any from his beloved boss - And I grinned at him and Rufus, showing all my teeth. "I'd probably killed you by now, Gimpy."

Rufus' businessman-polite smile faded somewhat, and Reno looked like he was trying to shoot bullets out of his eye sockets. God, there was nothing more satisfying than riling the Turks! I leaned back in my chair and propped my boots on Rufus' desk, still grinning away like I'd won the lottery. The kitten lottery. "So, Ruru, what'd you fuck up this time? Are you sending me someplace nice this time? How about Costa del Sol? I just got this righteous bikini with pirate skulls on it, and that's something the world needs to see as soon as possible. Also, I want ice cream. In abundance."

Rufus opened a folder and slowly flipped through it; his revenge for the "Ruru" jab probably. It was pretty lame, but damn effective - I could practically feel my life waste away as I waited. Finally he got sick of hearing me fidget, and he pulled out a page. "As you are aware, Shinra Corporation no longer relies on the lifestream for energy."

God, of course Rufus couldn't just come out and say what he wanted. "No shit, Wheels. What's the next epiphany you're going to pull out of that flabby ass of yours? Water's wet?"

Rufus ignored that. "While coal and oil have been remarkably helpful, they aren't efficient means of power. We need renewable energy to assure a constant supply. As per the suggestions of Wutai-"

Even though I'd slept on more comfortable rocks, I'd totally almost fallen asleep in the chair, but I managed to pry open an eye at the last word. "Oh yeah? What sort of crap has Pops been feeding you?"

He ignored that, too. "As per the suggestions of Wutai," he repeated, because Rufus was a spiteful bastard, "we've been investigating wind- and water-based forms of power. Construction of the Shinra Wind Turbine Park A001 will begin within months. Shinra Wind Turbine Park B001 by the end of the year. Shinra Wind Turbine Park C001 shortly after that. I aim to have 40% of Midgar's power generated from wind farms within five years."

Fascinating. He'd actually discovered something more boring than watching Cloud's hair gel dry.
jaebility: (rikku x auron)
Trying/failing to write like [livejournal.com profile] spiderflower again.

Moving into the Shrina mansion was one of her best ideas ever, Yuffie congratulates herself as she perches on the edge of her bathtub. Her cats immediately claimed the empty house as their territory and Vincent Valentine is unable to catch them all and force them into destitution - she is his official roommate now, whether he likes it or not (she suspects or not), and shivers as lightning-pleasure run up her spine when she announces that she's living - yes, living - under the same roof and everything with him (he's in the basement, she has the second floor, but these are details and ninjas don't give a flying fuck about details).

She's sitting on the tub, clipping her toenails, when Vincent Valentine makes his entrance. She hasn't bothered to lock her doors, and today she hasn't even closed it all the way, so they're both surprised when he stares at her nudity.

"I'm cutting my nails," she explains lamely, because she's nineteen now, but she might as well be twelve, all the good old age has done her. Having finished her shower, she danced herself to dryness rather than bother with a towel (which she hasn't washed in forever and the pink flowers on it look more like splotches of death), and thus is so nude that she puts the Honey Bee Inn to shame. Naked as the day she was born, and about as wise, too.

"Get dressed," Vincent instructs her, definitely not looking at her boobs (why would he be looking there - Lucrecia's were much rounder). "I've found something." He doesn't leave, even though he's reached his word-quota for the day (for the century), because apparently she can turn men to stone with a single appearence of the nipples. The petrification shatters an instant after that though, and Vincent looks idly at her wet hair before sliding out the room, taking the mist and her dignity with him.

"I'm not done with my nails!" She hollers after him, because she can't think about what just happened. "I only did one foot! My left toenails are like daggers and I'm going to sneak up with you and plunge them into your tender flesh and do you think that vampires can be killed by a toenail to the heart?"

He comes back with an armful of her clothes and dumps them on the wet tiles. "I'm not a vampire," he artfully dodges her rhetorical question and then artfully turns his back to her and artfully waltzes away.

"Pervert!" She hollers again and then hopes she has an incurable disease and dies within the next five minutes.
jaebility: (rikku x auron)
Yuffie hates hates hates trying to say something serious to Vincent, because half the time she ends up laughing hysterically/giggling nervously and that ruins everything and the other half she just stands there like a stupid wooden doll with her mouth open and a tendril of drool stretching down. Even when she reherses the whole thing in advance, giving little performances to her cats, monster corpses, and Cid, it all goes to waste when she's face-to-face and his eyes are narrow and indecently beautiful and what is it now, Yuffie and the great ninja instead tells him a joke that he doesn't think is funny and then does two back-flips away into the night and being eightteen sucks.
jaebility: (goblin!)
One-liners, a la [livejournal.com profile] buttonsandblows.

FFX
Jecht's even less dressed than usual and is currently dancing an awful jig around the campfire; Auron closes his eyes again and wishes to hell that it's all some sort of terrible nightmare, but he's never had that kind of luck.

"Ally-oop," Jecht lifts her up onto his broad shoulders and Rikku finally gets the satisifaction of being the tallest in the crowd; she taps her heels happily on his chest and tries not to drip too much ice cream into his hair.

FFX/FFVII
Auron's fingers write the symbols of her name across her bare back and Yuffie shivers and wiggles and finally realizes that having a personal samurai isn't all bad.

It's goddamn annoying and admiting it tastes like stale, warm beer in his mouth, but Cid finally growls out the words that Rikku's been dying to hear: "The design worked, kid; the fucking thing flew."

Rikku dances and shakes her tush and pops the cork on the cheap bottle of champagne she'd been storing in the back of her fridge for months; later, when even Cid is happy that she won the contest, Rikku feels like she's flying in her airship, even though her feet are firm (or mostly firm, at least) on the ground.

Zelda
Malon's long hair is getting rough at the edges; it's been at least a year since it's last been cut, but she's still not sure she trusts Ganondorf with a blade at her neck.

The dry air is knives in her lungs and her heart wrenches painful thumps in her chest, but the sword clenched in her bloody hand remains unwavering until Ganondorf claps his approval and she allows herself to sink to the stained ground.
jaebility: (goblin!)
"Do you know how fucking annoying it is to have a samurai following you around everywhere?"

Vincent stared contemplatively at the girl dangling in front of him.. She crossed her arms across her chest glared, but the effect was lost - hanging upside was making her face turn an unsightly shade of crimson. The rope twisted and she turned slightly in the breeze. He followed her line of vision to his second captive. "Him, I imagine?"

"Yes fucking him. Hey, will you let me down now?"

Vincent ignored her and instead inspected the various knots in the rope that held her above the ground. All secure. Satisified that he could investigate his second victim safely, he turned his back on the girl, who was now swaying like a pendulum due to her efforts to escape.

"It's really goddamn annoying!" She yelled after him, in case he was wondering. "Like having crabs, only over your entire body! Crabs that have a personel vendetta against anything not lame!"

The samurai glowered, but thankfully was silent, unlike his companion who was now shrieking out insults in alphabetical order. It had been pure misfortune that his two traps had been sprung on innocent bystanders, but Vincent was still vaguely interested in the pair, despite their lack of monitary value. He hadn't recognized the symbol on the girl's bandanna, and a quick glance at her guardian told him nothing, other than the prisoner shared a similar sense of fashion with Vincent: the samurai was dressed in a red, kimono-style coat with black pants and shirt. His katana had been shoved behind him by the ropes that now encircled his arms and chest; Vincent bent down to pull it free. An inscription on the blade might--

The blow sent him to his knees and then completely to the ground. "Two birds with one stone!" A voice said smugly before the world went black.
jaebility: (Default)
One-liners, a la [livejournal.com profile] buttonsandblows.

FFX
It takes forever, but Rikku finally convinces Yuna and Paine to accompany her to the tattoo artist that Brother recommended - they hold hands and grin through the pain and pray that there aren't any spelling mistakes.

Auron stands on the mountain summit, trailing behind the rest of the party to pause and grimace and grasp his chest to prevent the pyre flies that threaten spill free; he clenches and curses and prays until he regains control and maintains his hold on his life.

FFVII/FFX
They spend each night making long lists (funny words for "penis," red: awesome or awesomely awesome?, best pick-up lines to use on old dead guys), each day tring to out-steal the other, each meal combining forces to drive Cid off the deep end; finding a doppelganger from another world is the best thing ever, and they pinky swear that they'll stay sort-of-sisters forever.

Yuffie and Rikku are gunpowder and a match, and it's all that Cid can do to keep them from blowing up the town; if this is his punishment for his youthful indisgressions, he'd like to actually be dead first, but with his luck, he's going to live another sixty years as their babysitter (unless they kill him first [please let them kill him first!]).

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